Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us

This phrase takes me back to my school days instantly. The entire class would chant "Our Father in heaven" together and for the longest time I never paid any heed to what the words actually meant. It was only when I started on my slow journey of self healing is when I found myself remembering the phrase.

There are certain words in the English language (according to me) which sound so simple, yet have such a massive action attached to it. Forgiveness is one such word. I mean it is not out of "Tharoor's dictionary". Simple word but the action behind it requires so much strength and is one of the hardest thing I believe I have to do.

There are 2 types of forgiveness as per me. Forgiving others and forgiving self. Either ways I absolutely believe (and have learnt it the hard way) that learning to let go and forgiving both others and yourself is absolutely necessary for your self preservation.

Also, how do you start quantifying the hurt? It reminds me of a scalene triangle we used to learn about which has different sides. People can be hurting from inside and never show it, people can be vocal about it and some would have already forgotten and moved on.

I still don't think I ever forget but I am trying to learn to forgive and let me tell you — something in me has shifted for the good.

When it comes to forgiving others more often than not it is easier than learning self forgiveness. Call it my coping mechanism but I try to rationalize their action or find fault in mine. Of course, I am not saying it is the right approach.

Forgiving yourself is the hardest. We are our own harshest critics. We replay our mistakes on a loop, judge ourselves more severely than we would judge anyone else, and somehow believe we don't deserve the same compassion we readily give to others.

But here is what I have realized — you cannot pour from an empty cup. Forgiving yourself is not weakness. It is an act of radical self care. It is saying — I made a mistake, I learned from it, and I choose to move forward.

So today, I am working on forgiving myself. One day at a time. And it is the most liberating thing I have ever done.