To Be or Not to Be??
I came out of a leadership program more confused than ever. 'Be yourself' — but nobody told you how. Two years later, a life counsellor gave me a piece of paper and changed everything.
I was attending one of the leadership development programs a few years back and one of the things they kept emphasizing on was "Be Yourself", "Be True to yourself", "Find You" etc. I came out of that program more confused than ever. Because neither did they tell you how to go about it nor did they tell you what it meant (I absolutely hate it when that happens).
This is what I took away from that 2-day long session — Whatever the world says, be yourself and never change. So the introvert, over thinker, shy, anxious me continued being the way I was and found myself acing borderline inferiority complex.
It was only 2 years later when I was talking to a life counsellor and she gave me a piece of paper and asked me to write down who I am. I started with my designation, where I work, what I studied and what I was good at professionally. I added my hobbies and that I loved doing Yoga because it brought out the perfectionist in me. Proud of myself, I gave the paper to her.
Within a minute she gave me that stare. She said, "Woman! This is not you. This is you to the world and how you want them to see you."
Taken aback I said, "No! This is who I am." She said, "Your job, education, daughter, sister does not define who you are as a person — those are external factors. Tomorrow if you move on to do something different, does that mean your core values as a person change?"
That made me think. She was right.
Who are you when no one is watching? Who are you at 3am when you can't sleep? Who are you when you've failed and no one is there to see it? That person — the one in those quiet, unseen moments — that is who you truly are.
Being yourself is not a destination. It is a daily practice. It is choosing, over and over again, to show up as you — imperfect, unfinished, beautifully you.